Monday, February 16, 2009
Confessions of A 23 YR Old College Student
Alright..I know you guys are all just dying to read about my life..so here it goes. I have been horrible latley about updating this sucker! So, obviously a lot has happenend to me since Christmas. A new semester has started and I am finally taking classes for my program in my fourth year. Its kinda ridiculous. I am keeping very busy with working and taking 18 credits and playing volleyball tuesday nights, basketball wednesday nights, a social life and church responsibilities on top of that. Sometimes, I just feel a little overwhelmed over it all. considering how I am a very social person it is very difficult to stay very motivated to do my homework instead of going out with friends. This past week was one of those crappy sucky weeks where I just wanted to quit life. I had many moments of asking myself if I really wanted to be a teacher and asking myself if I could really handle it all. I got on email from my summer job saying they didn't need me. Then, as I was trying to figure out the rest of my schooling i got a rude awakening that i needed to take summer school! Yuck! I am so anti summer school. I really need my summer breaks to be able to make it through school so now I will be going without any real break. Plus, Ill be staying in Pocatello which means I won't be able to make very much money! AAAhhhh....sat down and talked with my mom and step dad and they tried to be instrumental in helping me but I realized I'm pretty stubborn and everything they said I would just shut down. I just wanted to quit school and they were being logical imagine that. Then, Lately i have been facing some realizations of some of my personality traits that really need to change. I want people to know how much of a nice person I am but sometimes things come out really wrong out of my mouth so people think i'm rude. I also realized with boys and relationships I put up walls that prohibit me from being able to let people close to me. So, overall I'm just frustrated with my life. I am coming up on my year mark home from the mission and I feel like I really haven't accomplished much in that year. How can I motivate myself to be better in school? How can I change some things I need to? I have been having some good ah ha moments in Institute and church so that is good! But, anyway enough of all that nonsense. I am having a lot of fun too and that is part of the problem but I hope you are all doing well!! Its all about Balance! The following pictures are of me snowshoeing, one is at a hockey game, one is from a basketball game, and one is of the mohawk I did on my nephew!
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4 comments:
Abby Lou, I can so relate to all of what you said. I think it is so hard to go from your mission where you feel so satisfied, and you know you are right where Heavenly Father wants you to coming home, You can no longer put all of your focus into one thing anymore. There are so many things pulling at you. I think you are doing just what you should! You are progressing by going to school, you are having fun and making memories, and not focussing on the fact that you aren't married yet.
As far as relationships go, just remember that Heavenly Father knows you, and he will send somebody that will be able to break down those walls. Maybe it will happen like Jimmy and I where you are just friends first, and then it turns into romance later.
I am just going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that you are not coming to Virginia for the summer. You better atleast come and visit. Sorry for the soapbox and the novel. Love ya girl!
Abby, I love you and you are one of the best people I have ever known. If there are some qualities about you that you need to change, they are very minor ones!
I said those very words today -"I have nothing to show for being home a year!" The year has flown by. It is hard but you have to make the most of life even though it stinks most of the time!
Abby..you are such a great, fun loving person, and a great friend, you should never be so hard on yourself! You are accomplishing something by going to school, and you will be a great teacher:) Really! Anyway, I just wanted to say I love ya and wish we could hang out more...I wish my life WAS a little more social, haha--oh well! Hope all is well, and come see me at the game tonight..PLEASE!!
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