"Even As I Am"

Today In My institute Class we were discussing 1 Corinthians Ch. 13. It was amazing and profoundly influenced me today. It also made me miss being a missionary who was more focused on spiritual things rather than lame wordly things. Alright, So Paul tells us that Charity is kind, envieth not, seeketh not her own, hopeth all things, believeth all things, endureth all things, it never faileth, and it is the greatest attribute. But, what does all this mean? What is Charity? How can we obtain it? So, as our class was discussing this there were a few things that really stuck out to me. Charity is Christ. Ok, what does that mean? It means that Christ never Fails us..IT means that Christ is Kind and Does not seek his own. So, how do we obtain that? Well, we seek it, we follow his example. Not that we will ever be Christ, but we can develop his qualities with his help. Then, we talked about being selfless..my institute teacher whom I love and is amazing and has been a huge blessing in my life..raised the question to me..was I a more charitable person on my mission than I am now? I of course said yes way more...he said why? My response is well as a missionary everyday you are focusing on good things you are focusing and teaching the gospel everyday..you are selfless..your whole purpose is to serve and love others and bring them what makes you happiest. I Miss that immensley..Now, in my life I feel so consumed by everything going on in life and all that I need to accomplish. I feel very selfish and I know that is not what God would want me to do. I have struggled with being charitable my whole life. why? Well, I know that I'm a pretty judgemental person..do you think that God looks upon us like I look at other people? No he doesnt. God Loves all people and I want to feel the same. I know that all people are inherently good. So, I should desire to love and serve all people despite our differences. Anwway, there were some good quotes I wish I had to share with you..maybe I will get them and post them. One thing that stood out to me the most was Charity is not something we do it is what we are. So, we should all strive to be more like our Savior Jesus Christ and develop his qualities and attributes. As we do this we will be happier. As we focus on the savior more and keep our priorities everything else in life will fall into place. IF we focus on becoming like the savior we will naturally be better people! I love that God allows us to change and improve ourselves. I love that we have the spirit to help us and prick us at different times in our lives to make appropriate changes. God is Great and I love him and I love the Gospel!

Confessions of A 23 YR Old College Student

Alright..I know you guys are all just dying to read about my life..so here it goes. I have been horrible latley about updating this sucker! So, obviously a lot has happenend to me since Christmas. A new semester has started and I am finally taking classes for my program in my fourth year. Its kinda ridiculous. I am keeping very busy with working and taking 18 credits and playing volleyball tuesday nights, basketball wednesday nights, a social life and church responsibilities on top of that. Sometimes, I just feel a little overwhelmed over it all. considering how I am a very social person it is very difficult to stay very motivated to do my homework instead of going out with friends. This past week was one of those crappy sucky weeks where I just wanted to quit life. I had many moments of asking myself if I really wanted to be a teacher and asking myself if I could really handle it all. I got on email from my summer job saying they didn't need me. Then, as I was trying to figure out the rest of my schooling i got a rude awakening that i needed to take summer school! Yuck! I am so anti summer school. I really need my summer breaks to be able to make it through school so now I will be going without any real break. Plus, Ill be staying in Pocatello which means I won't be able to make very much money! AAAhhhh....sat down and talked with my mom and step dad and they tried to be instrumental in helping me but I realized I'm pretty stubborn and everything they said I would just shut down. I just wanted to quit school and they were being logical imagine that. Then, Lately i have been facing some realizations of some of my personality traits that really need to change. I want people to know how much of a nice person I am but sometimes things come out really wrong out of my mouth so people think i'm rude. I also realized with boys and relationships I put up walls that prohibit me from being able to let people close to me. So, overall I'm just frustrated with my life. I am coming up on my year mark home from the mission and I feel like I really haven't accomplished much in that year. How can I motivate myself to be better in school? How can I change some things I need to? I have been having some good ah ha moments in Institute and church so that is good! But, anyway enough of all that nonsense. I am having a lot of fun too and that is part of the problem but I hope you are all doing well!! Its all about Balance! The following pictures are of me snowshoeing, one is at a hockey game, one is from a basketball game, and one is of the mohawk I did on my nephew!