Thursday, February 4, 2010

A New Year..A New Me??

Alright...So I must say that the beginning of this year has been quite interesting for me. I haven't felt quite like myself. There have been some events that have helped contribute to this, but ultimatley I realized some things about myself. I don't say this to be negative in any way...I think its just time to face the facts in my life. I'm 24 and almost done with school ( I will be 25 by then..SCARY!!) But I'm realizing I have to grow up real soon. That is so scary. I mean I'm not immature or anything but im getting to a point in my life where I don't have to go on in college where I could get a real job...with this comes real responsibility and real life. I don't know how ready I am for all of that! So...that is one aspect. For those of you who know me..know that I'm a pretty social person. Well, lately I have not felt very motivated to be super outgoing and social which is sooo strange for me...whats up with that? Is this just a stage you go through when you get to be my age and unmarried? I need help and advice from all of you! What do you think I should do with my life?? I of course would love to be married, but right now that is just not the plan for me and I don't want to dwell on it..I want to live life to the fullest. So, one thing I realized is that I hold onto a lot of things such as pain and hurt from my past....that is one thing I'm trying to work on so I allow people into my life more easily. Its funny because I have a lot of trust issues from events in my life and yet everytime I try to overcome this someone else comes in and breaks my trust I had with them...its like this vicious cycle and I don't know how to trust people more. On the other hand I have great people who have always stood by my side and have always fought for me and I treat them not so well. What am I trying to gain? Why do I treat those who treat me the best sometimes the worst? Is this a common human character flaw? Well, these are some of the things that come with adulthood you start examining who is really most important in your life and what is most important. Who is most important to me?? I would say my family. I have the best mom in the world! She loves unconditionally and is a constant support for me. I have awesome siblings and step family members. I feel blessed to have all of them in my life. I have an awesome Aunt Mary who is a constant love and support to me too! I have a great grandmother who I got my personality from....always speaks the truth but you know they love you! I have great extended family and cousins! I also have great friends...Chelsey and Mikkel they've been constant friends to me for the last 5 or so years even when I was immature and oversensitive at times. I have family friends who have been there through thick and thin like the Toros, the luncefords, they Meyers. Then, I have Brittney who has been so great to me..I have friends from high school like Katie, Shauna, and Dana who are still cheering me on this race of life..Thank you! I have wonderful friends and people from my Second home of Minnesota who are cheering me on as well, including my additional sisters who were my companions and sisters in the mission field. These are some of my dearest and truest friends! I have my current ward family and people in Virginia who are sooo awesome! As I'm writing this I'm just soooo blessed and feel soo grateful and this makes me reflect and think hey life isn't so scary with all these great people to share it with. Thank you all for being apart of my life and making life always worth it! I value your love and friendship and any great suggestions or advice for life you have for me its always appreciated!! Anyway, I just started typing and this is what came out, it may not make sense but its just what is coming out of my little reflective heart right now. I guess my trust issues are not so big and the few people who have caused me to be mistrusting are really in small comparison to all the people who I trust, love, adore, respect, and admire! Thank you all for your examples and the wonderful lives you have lived! You are all a beacon of light in my lives. I love you!

Here are some recent things I got to do....My sweet Friend Chelsey was here from Germany and we got to hang out..it was such a blast! We had a girls night and it was soo fun! Here are some Pics to show you the fun times we had!



At the Game

Adorable Colty...At the Game!

Hanging Out!



Playing the Funnest Game on the Wii...Just Dance


Eating at Chillis

Girl's Night Out!!



5 comments:

Shauna said...

It makes my day (week, month, year..) that you mentioned me! Sounds like you have a lot to think about...just make sure you're on your knees a lot. :) You've always been a great example to me, I know that there are some great things in store for your future. Life is always changing, bad and good, just enjoy the change and learn from it! (easier said than done, I know)

Kim and Zak said...

Oh, Abby, I LOVE YOU! :) You're the best, and never let anyone bring you down! Don't focus on what you don't have in life; focus on what you do have and the people that love and adore you for who you are! :) You will do great no matter what path you choose, and know that you always have a friend in me to turn to for support! I love ya! :) Hey, speaking of friend, why the heck wasn't I mentioned in your blog?! What's up with that?!?!? Thanks for nothin'... :( haha :)

Christen said...

Here's my suggestion... Finish school, smiling and enjoying every last second. Move to Virginia, live with your aunt as you work and look for an apartment, and then next summer I'll move into an apartment with you and we'll party like it's 1999. It'll be the best!

Christen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason and Dana said...

Abby, you really are amazing. I think I say that in every single comment I make to you on your blog or facebook, but that is just because it is the truth! It is hard to take a good look at your self and realize things that need to change...I probably am up for a review myself. Life just will keep changing and you'll keep growing. How exciting that you are almost done with school! You have accomplished so much and you're an example to me. I used to be so outgoing too, and now I am anything BUT! I don't know when or how it changed, but it's something I miss about myself. But with that has come greater changes, so I guess you take the good with the bad. I'm rambling, not sure what all I've said, but I love you Abby!! It might be scary now but you'll make the most of it, no doubt about it!