I'm Back and with a lot to say

Hello Blogging world and maybe the few people who actually ever read this. I just have really felt the need to write some things down and for me blogging is easier than keeping a journal. So, here it goes. Ever since coming home from Haiti my life has been kind of a whirlwind and at points I didn't have anything interesting to say about my life and now I don't have the time to share my life. So, here is the update. I moved to Las Vegas after living in Haiti! I still can't get over that just a year ago I was living in Haiti. Oh how the time flies and oh how grateful I am for the many blessings and opportunities I have had.  I came here in hopes to work and have a new adventure like I always like to have. I felt really good about coming here although I knew the economy was not great and I may not find a job. I started to really doubt my good feelings after being unemployed for almost 4 months. Talk about a lazy piece of crap. That was me. I did nothing with my life for 4 months. I spent my time watching hours upon hours of tv and hating my life. It was pretty depressing actually. Thankfully, I made some friends and I had my sister. We became pretty close and I'm grateful for the time we had to strengthen our relationship. After about 4 months I finally after a long process got to start substitute teaching. I actually really loved this job and it was a really good and much needed experience to help me in my future career of teaching. I had some days where I was like I never wanna teach and other days where I was like I love this. Well, in the beginning of October I got a very unexpected phone call. I had applied through Clark County District to teach but was pretty sure I wouldn't have a full time position until the next year. I got a call to ask me to come in for an interview for a school I had no idea about and had never seen or heard of. They had just gotten my resume from the district. Anyway, I interviewed and they basically offered me the job the next day. I was in awe. I was amazed at how it all came together and I knew that maybe I was right after all in choosing to come to Las Vegas.
Well, I started in November teaching 5th grade. I thought it to be a lot more glamorous then it really was. I figured out quickly why I got hired so quickly;) Being a determined first year teacher I told myself I wasn't going to let anything bring me down and break my spirits. Boy was I wrong. Teaching my class was going to be no easy task. My new class of these 32 little souls was actually going to prove to be quite a challenge. Never did I know that 10 year olds could be so crazy and mean. I have never dealt with so many issues.  Right before this new job I had the opportunity to go and spend time with a sweet friend of mine from the mission. She was someone we taught the gospel to but never got baptized. I always told her if she did ever decide to be baptized I would be there. So, she did 4 years later and I got to be there. I was so happy that I was able to attend her baptism and talk with my sweet friend again. I also got to spend some good times with my old companion. We had such a great time with Abby our friend and also visiting our old stomping grounds of Blaine Minnesota. Those were some very good and memorable times in my life. Anyway, so that helped me get through and realize you know people change and I can inspire change in this class. I can make a difference, isn't that why I chose to teach anyway? Didn't I always want the challenging kids so I could have more of an opportunity to be a good role model? Well, that has proved to be much easier said than done.
Fast forward to my current life about 3 months of teaching and sculpting these young little brains. I spend so much time with them and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I definitely  am not as patient and kind and loving and inspiring as I would hope to be. I feel much like a parent raising a child. I know I've made mistakes and despite these children and their disrespectful ways sometimes I love them. We have made some strides but we still have a long ways to go. I have about 75 more days to try and help these kiddos. Pray for me.
I just want to share my experience with them today. Often times I have to have a "talk" with my kids about appropriate behaviors. I know they get sick of me. Well, today I had it. I was frustrated I had to deal with about 5 unnecessary conflicts within in my classroom throughout the day meaning I had to take time away from the kids who wanted to learn to deal with them. I was really sick of the kids being so unkind to one another. I felt inspired I think to have another talk with them but I took a little different approach. I started the usual we need to have another talk about being kind. After spilling my heart out about being kind and being respectful I started to tell them about how they never know what another kid is dealing with that they may be being unkind to or making fun of. I told some stories from my past times when maybe I wasn't the most proud of the way I treated someone and how I still feel bad about it. I talked about how I had to make the choice to change my attitude to change my ways. I remember in fourth grade me and some friends banned up against another girl. We made her cry like everyday when she went home. I remember we had to all have a big conversation with our teacher and then we had to all go over to her house with our parents to talk about it. I remember being angry we had to do that and thinking this girl was just being ridiculous. However, I knew that it must have been horrifying for her that she had to do this and that we were treating her so unkindly. Anyway, it was kind of an emotional talk and I got very honest with them and told them about my life and having to work hard and constantly change my life. I told them I don't want kids to come here and feel unsafe. For some this is the only safe place they can come. Well, I got a few tears as the kids started sharing experiences about their life and times kids were unkind and how it made them feel. They told about the different trials they are going through at their own homes. Its crazy to hear the things that these young little people are going through and dealing with. Their lives aren't easy and they are having to deal with tough things. It makes me concerned for their future and how some of them will deal with these problems as they are already down a path that isn't looking good. Anyway, it was a good and enlightening experience. I really do love these now 31 kids and I'm interested to see what their future holds for them. I just hope we can make it peacefully through the rest of the year.
Anyway, I know that was a lot but It's been awhile hopefully I can start sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly about teaching on here:)